Laurgasms

I hate to start off my blog with a bang; I know someone who probably won’t like this very much. I have to say something about Keith Olbermann. This comes from reading Bloggerman all day. I won’t disagree that he is a brilliant journalist. The points that he makes and his way with words are just fantastic. But look at the blog. Every single sentence is it’s own paragraph. It’s like he wants you to make sure you know how important every single statement is. It shows up in the way he speaks, too. His word is gospel. His sentences have no FLOW. It’s why I can’t listen to him. I found one exception though; his report on the Dustin Diamond sex tape. I can’t stop laughing. There is nothing not funny about this. Olbermann talking about Dirty Sanchez. Just watch it.

 Also, if you haven’t read the “Declassified Key Judgements” from the NIE… I recommend it. You can’t listen to what Bush says, because he must be reading something completely different than what I read. You can’t listen to what the dirty liberals say, because they leave out the parts they choose to leave out (but what else is new?). My favorite part is how they first say that the diffusion and dispersion of the groups will make it harder to seek out and undermine the jihadist groups, but then they go and say that the splinter groups would cause less of a threat to the US. Personally, I think that five groups with bombs is harder to deal with than one group with a big bomb. Also, I’d like to point out the final line in the document. ”P.S. The Internet supports terrorism!” But whatever, the NIE can say what they want and leave it so that anyone can interpret it how they choose. It’s ok, they’re experts!

 I guess that’s really all that’s going on in the news… except for, of course, people shooting other people. And maybe an ugly mental image of some of those people in the audience. Ehgh.

 One more thing, a bit more personal… I assert that all answering machine messages should be the same. This way I don’t have to deal with the ones that beep as soon as they answer. Or even better, the ones that beep when they answer, then say “leave a message after the beep!” and then beep again. The 10-minute bible verses and garbled recordings of “Hollaback Girl” are unnecessary, as are the people that come up with cutesy messages like “I hear the coooool weather’s coming back, so I’m out enjoying the sunshine!” Yeah, thanks, I’m at work so you can get your medication and you’re enjoying the autumn air. Have a nice day!

-L